Thursday, March 27, 2008

"A Jose Canseco Bat? TELL ME You Didn't Pay Money For This."

Let's just get this garbage out of the way so we can move onto effing baseball already.

Jose Canseco (pronounced JOE-say), author of Juiced and the Shakespearean classic Jose Write Good, has a new book out called Vindicated: Big Names, Big Liars, and the Battle to Save Baseball. In it Canseco says he introduced Alex Rodriguez to a known steroids dealer.

Listen, I don't do drugs, but I've probably been introduced to a lot of drug dealers. I've probably gone next door and borrowed cups of sugar from them on occasion. That's probably why they wanted $5,000 for it.

I mean, what if you're a celebrity at a party, and someone comes up to you and says, "Excuse me, Celebrity McSpecialpants, I'd like you to meet Ordinary Everyguy."

And then the next day, BOOM, turns out you shook hands with Hitler. Who knew?! You thought Hitler was dead in a bunker!

My point is, JOE-say Canseco is a chode. Come on, "the Battle to Save Baseball"? The title might as well be, Jose Canseco Presents Vindicated: Big Names, Big Liars, and the Battle to Save Baseball: A Tek Jansen Adventure: Book I: Phobos: The Chronicles of Princess Wrigley.

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